Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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