You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
