Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You were trust falling into bushes
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
