It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
