U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize