He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
