I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize