sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
