can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
