This dress was meant to end up on your floor
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
