sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
