So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
