The maid of honor just puked.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Found your dick twin last night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
True strength comes from lack of pants
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
