Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize