Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize