hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Quick, to the slutcave!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
How external is "for external use only"?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing