Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.

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  (207): Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit. http://tfl.nu/u5bn
  Replies (5) Good night (551) Bad night (1180) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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  (404): I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life. http://tfl.nu/huxl
  Replies (168) Good night (5739) Bad night (6576) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010

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  (610): I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010 http://tfl.nu/e381
  Replies (11) Good night (4511) Bad night (674)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.

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  (720): The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in. http://tfl.nu/itcs
  Replies (34) Good night (1818) Bad night (5067) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.

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  (724): are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations. http://tfl.nu/i5jg
  Replies (12) Good night (1400) Bad night (3837) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.

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  (760): The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too. http://tfl.nu/fqh3
  Replies (3) Good night (3358) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom

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  (734): Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom http://tfl.nu/itfy
  Replies (48) Good night (22069) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.

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  (320): I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on. http://tfl.nu/x1xg
  Replies (21) Good night (6846) Bad night (1445)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.

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  (517): we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/tadi
  Replies (11) Good night (8641) Bad night (1837) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?

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  (250): You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you? http://tfl.nu/8g3a
  Replies (9) Good night (2606) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub

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  (918): Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub http://tfl.nu/8dtz
  Replies (8) Good night (1932) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.

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  (302): This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas. http://tfl.nu/72c6
  Replies (3) Good night (774) Bad night (245)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.

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  (406): There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing. http://tfl.nu/ymyj
  Replies (0) Good night (593) Bad night (193) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?

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  (304): That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try. (304): Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone? http://tfl.nu/y8p7
  Replies (10) Good night (452) Bad night (1139)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.

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  (757): Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min. (540): He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd. http://tfl.nu/sjx0
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (223)

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