Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
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Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.