who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos