how can u be prego again
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.