Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
