It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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