she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
