I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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