Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
