Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
