Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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