did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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