well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
