If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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