He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
