You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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