I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
