barbara walters just said penis...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
