I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
