There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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