PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
