I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
two words: eviction party
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
tell me about the fingering
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
