you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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