He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
