i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
