we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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