I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
