walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
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How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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