You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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