Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize