He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
