I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
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How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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