Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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