I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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