the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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