I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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