i don't plan on having that self control this summer
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
