Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize