I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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