I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
