Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
