like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize