i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
