New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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