watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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