I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
How external is "for external use only"?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
