he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
