My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
