fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
